第168章 震惊！全班凑不出一张真脸？这是同学会还是精神病院！
第168章震惊！全班凑不出一张真脸？这是同学会还是精神病院！(第1/2页)
第168章震惊！全班凑不出一张真脸？这是同学会还是精神病院！
县城唯一的五星级酒店，“皇家凯撒至尊大酒店”门口。
两尊巨大的石狮子被涂成了土豪金，眼珠子里还闪烁着红色的LED光，看着跟得了红眼病似的。旋转门也是金色的，转起来像个巨大的滚筒洗衣机，仿佛要洗去每一个进门者的贫穷味儿。
田小雨把手揣进羽绒服袖子里，看着这充满了城乡结合部赛博朋克风格的装修，嘴角直抽抽：
“陈默，看见没？这就叫‘富贵逼人’。主要是逼人去死。”
陈默面无表情地把车停在一堆五颜六色的豪车中间。他那辆改装过的军用越野像是一头误入孔雀群的野狼，虽然灰扑扑的，但就是透着一股子“敢撞我你就逝世”的凶狠劲儿。
两人刚下车，还没走到门口，一道油腻的身影就像看见了肉骨头的哈巴狗一样冲了过来。
“哎呀呀！这不是咱们的大校花田小雨吗？”
班长王兴穿着一身亮得能反光的银色西装，头发抹的定型胶多得能防弹，一只苍蝇落上去都得劈叉。他手里甩着一把宝马车钥匙，眼神在田小雨那身加起来不超过两百块的行头上扫了一圈，那种优越感都要从鼻孔里喷出来了。
“啧啧，小雨啊，不是班长说你。混得再差，回老家也得租辆车撑撑场面啊！你看我这——”
王兴得意地指了指身后那辆崭新的宝马5系，“刚提的！全款！落地五十多万呢！”
就在这时，田小雨脑海中那个缺德带冒烟的系统提示音欢快响起：
【叮！群体降智光环·火力全开版已生效！】
【当前效果：全员强制诚实！智商下线！内心戏转化为广播剧！主要目的：让宿主笑死。】
王兴那个“呢”字的尾音还没落下，嘴巴突然不受控制地一张一合，像是开了倍速的复读机：
“其实这是我在租车行按小时租的！一小时三百块！为了省油我是推着车过来的！刚才停车没倒进去，还是让保安大爷帮我推进去的！我现在心都在滴血，因为超时一分钟要加收五十块！我现在的笑容全是硬挤出来的，我内裤都因为紧张湿透了！”
空气突然安静了。
只有酒店门口那个喷泉还在不知死活地呲着水。
王兴猛地捂住嘴，惊恐地瞪大了眼睛，眼珠子都要从眼眶里弹出来贴在田小雨脸上了。
卧槽？！我在说什么？！我怎么把实话说出来了？！
田小雨正从兜里掏出一把瓜子，闻言动作一顿，差点笑喷：“班长，其实你可以不用推车，你可以扛着车走，那样更省油，还能顺便练练深蹲。”
陈默瞥了一眼那辆宝马，冷冷补刀：“排气管还是凉的。确实是推来的。”
王兴：“……”
他想死，但他租期还没到，还得去还车。
走进宴会厅，那场面更是群魔乱舞，仿佛进了某精神病院的联欢晚会现场。
（本章未完，请点击下一页继续阅读）第168章震惊！全班凑不出一张真脸？这是同学会还是精神病院！(第2/2页)
同学们三五成群，乍一看那是衣香鬓影、成功人士聚会。
但只要一开口，画风瞬间崩坏。
左边那桌，以前的文艺委员林娇娇正翘着兰花指，展示她那刚做的美甲和巨大的钻戒。
“哎呀，这钻戒是我老公在南非给我买的鸽子蛋，沉死了，戴着手都疼~”
下一秒，【真言】暴击：
“其实这是我有夕夕九块九拼团买的玻璃球子！为了显大我还特意选的这种浮夸款！这根本不是我老公买的，是我备胎送的！我老公还在家给我洗内裤呢！而且这玩意掉色，我手指头根现在比中毒还绿！”
周围的一圈女同学本来正准备还要羡慕，结果一听这话，嘴巴比脑子快，纷纷开启了自爆模式：
“切！你那算啥！我这LV包是拿我在菜市场买菜的帆布袋改的！那个标是我用修正液画上去的！我就为了今天来艳压群芳，其实我兜里比脸还干净，今晚准备打包剩菜回去吃一个礼拜！”
“哈哈哈哈你们弱爆了！我这身香奈儿名媛风，其实是跟我妹借的！标签还在后面塞着呢，扎得我后背跟针扎似的，但我必须忍着！我要装出一种云淡风轻的贵妇感！其实我想放屁想了半小时了，但我怕把裙子崩开线！”
田小雨拉开椅子坐下，瓜子皮嗑得飞起，笑得肚子疼：
“陈默，快快快，把这一幕录下来！这哪是同学会啊，这是比惨大会啊！这是全员恶人啊！”
陈默坐在她身边，手里端着一杯白开水，眼神像是在看一群智障表演，嘴角却几不可查地勾起一抹弧度。
这时，主桌那边传来一阵骚动。
以前的学习委员、现在的“体制内精英”张志强正背着手，一脸威严地训斥服务员：
“那个谁！把这茅台给我换了！我要那种特供的！我平时喝惯了那个，喝这种嗓子疼！”
服务员还没说话，张志强嘴里的【真话】先喷了出来：
“其实我根本喝不出来好赖！我就是想装个大尾巴狼！我在单位就是个看大门的编外人员！平时喝的都是二锅头兑水！我这么喊是为了让那几个想求我办事的老同学觉得我很有实力，好骗他们请我洗脚！我连洗脚钱都付不起啊我！”
正在给张志强点烟的一个男同学手一抖，打火机直接烧到了张志强的眉毛。
“卧槽！强哥你骗我？！我都给你点了半小时烟了，为了巴结你我把我爸珍藏的华子都偷出来了！合着你是个看大门的？！”
张志强捂着烧焦的眉毛，哭丧着脸继续自爆：“别打我！那华子其实是假的！我在并夕夕买的烟盒，里面装的是红梅！”
全场乱套了。
互相揭短、互相伤害、互相吐露心声。
有人承认自己的双眼皮是贴的，有人承认自己的发际线是纹的，还有个大哥承认自己为了显高在鞋垫里塞了两块砖头，现在脚底板都要磨出血了。
一秒记住【顶点小说】
dingdian321.com，更新快，无弹窗！
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