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2417、北美神话大战（二九二）

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    龙宫城?我正在通过魔改的“冥想盆”观看霍格沃兹众人在苏拉玛的冒险?苏拉玛，是《魔兽世界》“军团再临”版本初期最高等级的地图，同时也是我印象里唯一一座同玩家处于敌对状态的主城?这座城市被隔绝内外的魔法护罩保护，一万年不见天日，而人鱼岛位于深海，包裹着具有同样效果的“泡膜”，不说造型相似，至少性质相同?虽然在几个版本后，这座城市随着剧情推进被光复，不再敌对，但在此期间玩家为了在这座城市里做任务而受到的折磨已经变成了梗?即使那个版本已经过去好久，经历过的老玩家在听到特定的台词时多半还会抖上一下?“【这是幻象！你在掩饰什么？！】?对，就是这句?我低头看了一眼，不是很意外地看到华生又被巡海夜叉从隐形状态揪出来，正在狼狈逃窜，而其他“潜入者”，有的借用莉莉的伪装魔法躲着具有侦测能力的夜叉走，有的爬上屋顶玩跑酷躲避巡逻队，还有的在用机关道具干扰夜叉视线从视线死角熘过去?这些选手在“本关”的目的只有一个，就是“刷声望”，通过帮忙完成各种日常任务以提高人鱼岛，不，苏拉玛居民对他们的认同，最终联合发起请愿，请“白星”现身见他们一面，倾听愿望，并拯救那些“即将被毁灭的陆地人”?而巡海夜叉驱赶他们的原因在于，这些外来者并非因为虔诚信仰“白星”而进入的地心之海，而是沾染“钢铁绿皮”的污染，又强行破开保护人鱼岛的泡膜进入的“异物”，在“白星”没有发话之前，一律按照“入侵者”处理——有些人其实是在公报私仇，就不指名了?为防止霍格沃兹那群学生仗着武力欺负弱小的夜叉，我特意设定，他们在接受莉莉的伪装法术后，会变身成人鱼或鱼人的模样，并拥有一定的“伪装值”，做出不符合身份的出格行为后，这个值会下降，而如果被巡海夜叉近距离捉到，则会完全清空并显形，这时只要被巡海夜叉的任何攻击命中，就会直接被传出“地心之海”重新来过?【地表已经打得天翻地覆，你还让他们在这里玩捉迷藏，真的好吗？】鲨鱼形态的蠢系统绕着寝宫转来转去?“问题不大，有些人圣杯战争到一半还跑去打棒球呢。?【泳装回和棒球回是业界传统，不可不品尝。?“那么人鱼形态算不算泳装？现在算不算泳装回？?【算……算吗？?“死机了？?我戳戳开始发呆的鲨鱼，转而把注意力移到陆地和海面?魔多的崛起，虽然有一部分是我纵容的，但更多的原因还是多玛姆的插手，他作为宇宙魔神自带的“虽然一戳就破但戳破之前还是有屏蔽功效”这一概念被钢铁绿皮用来遮蔽己方的“战争迷雾”吸收，导致我在不破除迷雾的情况下无法实时得知拉夫德鲁群岛上的发展状况，再结合索伦在《魔戒》的设定中率领兽人四处征讨的行为，导致原本计划的“燃烧远征”变成了我印象更深刻的“军团再临”，而直到阿斯加德和绿灯军团联军杀进去之后才发现他们登陆在“破碎海滩”?破碎海滩之战，塑造了六个版本的瓦里安国王毫无价值地死去，可以说是魔兽世界——或者应该说暴雪——由盛转衰的分界点，接下来的版本除了不断炒冷饭、吃书和消费人物之外，完全没有令人印象深刻的内容?不，之后的某个版本，那些编剧竟然敢把泰达希尔烧掉，我的印象还是挺深刻的，而这些不看设定的文盲在烧完之后才后知后觉地发现，艾泽拉斯唯一真神“艾露恩”一直都在，绝不可能对这件事视而不见，于是把她狠狠地削弱了，顺便又把烧树的希尔瓦娜斯加强…?这帮家伙一定是疯了，让所有人都满意做不到，但让所有人都不满意倒是轻轻松松?就像我一直说的，仙四之后，再无仙剑，而魔兽世界，在“德拉诺之王”版本忽然搞出什么平行世界后就已经进入毁灭倒计时，到“军团再临”版本，因为换编剧而随便杀掉角色，等于正式敲响丧钟，所以在剧情莫名跑去什么“暗影界”之后，我就退坑了，只等这看它什么时候死?但是，好像现在的版本已经更新到什么“巨龙时代”，看上去还能活很久的样子，显然我在“低维世界”是影响不到它的，要不要在“升维”后去霍霍暴雪呢?说回正题，“索伦之眼”挨过托尔一发“超电磁炮”后，就变成了“翻白眼”状态，绿皮们虽然依旧凶勐，但没能阻止恢复意识的帕加索斯趁机将阿斯加德的选手从破碎群岛传送离开，但同时，这位光明精灵法师也因为出力超出化身极限而化作碎片“阵亡”，和激发超电磁炮后直接炸掉的托尔双双出局?在这场战斗中，魔多的国王“索伦”虽然有出场，但看上去只是个比较强.，装备精良的绿皮，既不是黑化迈雅也不是古尔丹，所以没能复刻他去尝试腐蚀托尔把他炸掉的场面——当然也有可能是我不想看，潜意识就把它pass了?那句话怎么说的来着？虽然只是场游戏，但可不是闹着玩的，这场自降临海洋星球以来的首次大败造成了不小的影响，绿灯军团那边明显变得更加团结，而阿斯加德，托尔可是在所有人面前狠狠刷了一波声望，要是英灵殿广场有屋顶，一定已经被欢呼的声浪掀飞了吧?不过，由于这场战斗中牺牲的人并非真正死去，只是在本场比赛中被淘汰而已，双方并没有因此陷入悲痛或疯狂，只是更加积极地备战以应对绿皮的反扑，但两者之间的关系就…?【自从联盟和部落并肩作战，共同抵抗燃烧军团的入侵，已经过去了……四天，两者间脆弱的协议早已荡然无存，如今……】蠢系统牌鲨鱼忽然恢复了正常，甩着尾巴将一条信息刷在我面前：【‘阿斯加德’的女皇西芙在贵族议会的支持下，向‘刚铎’宣战。?不愧是阿斯加德，有仇当场就报，绝不隔夜

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